MADISON ??

.. Just a brief note:
-- Surprise of the early season: the Madison River is low, slow and clear  --  for now. Soft hackles, PMD's,(??,) and olive green Woolly Buggers, (rumors of very small caddis keep surfacing!) It's a good thing.

Q and Alex

Q: I know you have been a busy little boy lately, but are you ever going to get off your lame ass and write some shit on this gawd damn blog? You need to get on that.

Alex: You can stuff your head up a camel twat. Don't tell me what to do, you prick. But yes, eventually I will gather up the necessary motivation to tell the people about the recent goings-on, the Wrinkleneck tournament outcome, and a few other things of interest.

Q: You know that people have little patience these days. You let that stuff get stale and people will drop you faster than a dollar bill covered in dog crap. I know there is something that you could put up, just a little nonsense to keep the page fresh?

Alex: Yeah, I will think of something. Maybe.

Q: Whats this rumor I have heard about you boys signing contracts with some production company in California?

Alex: I can't talk about that. Find whoever told you that and uppercut them in the gooch.

Q: What is a gooch?

Alex: The perineum.

Q: Perineum?

Alex: Yeah, the taint.

Q: What the hell are you talking about?

Alex: It is the area between the balls and the b-hole.

Q: What? Why would I want to punch someone there?

Alex: Well, it was suppose to be funny, but you ruined it.

Q: What if it was a chick?

Alex: They have it too, but it is a little smaller so you have to have better aim, but you wouldn't have the ballsack to contend with, so I think someone with your lack of coordination could manage it.

Q: Are you always this strange?

Alex: Probably.

Q: Well, anyways, back to the blog. What is your next move?

Alex: Well, I will probably start working on the Wrinkleneck write-up, like I said. It probably won't be as epic as the last one, but who knows.

Q: Sooner than later, I hope.

Alex: Shuddup.

THANKS !

PERFECTION

FLOWS DOWN

Water Clear

trout frisky - bugs hatching

LOTS OF SNOW AND RAIN

-------

.. Get here now. The snow is sticking to the ground. The roads are clear and wet. There are smashed bugs on license plates from around the globe. Fishing in Yellowstone National Park opens tomorrow. The permit fees have jumped again - it's still a bargain.
.. Temperatures will be on the brisk side - they may hit 40° F in mid-afternoon. Snow will turn to rain but the catching promises to be so good you'll only have a runny nose to remind you of the weather.
.. Bring your bear spray! BRING YOUR BEAR SPRAY !! Do keep it in your hand. Don't keep it in your pack. Don't keep it in it's holster. Fish with and watch out for your buddies! Ignore this and die!
.. Check out just how fine the west side fishing is going to be:
==> FIREHOLE RIVER DATA,
==> MADISON RIVER DATA,
==> GALLATIN RIVER DATA,
==> GIBBON GAGE BACK ON LINE,
==> WEATHER.
.. We've got some new ring tones to trade - see you in the elbow jungle!

Grayling Creek Polluted

10,000 GALLONS

Fertilizer In Creek

truck destroyed on road

-------

.. You'll hear about it sooner or later. A double rig jack-knifed on the road next to Grayling Creek in Yellowstone National Park yesterday afternoon.
.. The tractor ended up headed the wrong way and the first trailer blocked both lanes of traffic. The "pup" trailer sheared it's kingpin and tumbled into Grayling Creek disgorging it's load of liquid fertilizer into the stream. Search the web if you're interested in the results. Read all about it on the neighborhood blogs.
.. We may just fish it on opening day. There will be very few elbows.

Sometimes....

I don't really drink too much anymore.
I do not care to drink alone, I used to go out to the bar all the time.
One day I just pulled up to the bar just around the corner from my house, walked in to the bar and grabbed my wallet. Suddenly I found myself placing the wallet back into my pocket just as the bartender said, "Hi Kyle, a big Bud Light for you?"

  "No." I said, as I turned and headed out the door.

I could not figure out why I did that, until I heard this song;



Now everything makes sense. I found out why I do not drink like I used to.

LOOK __ SEE !!!

PLEASE CHECK THIS OUT: (LINK) It's in your best interest!

Are You Set ??

MIXED BLESSING

Temps Down - Flows Up

trees and trouts happy

-------

.. So now, have you got your long johns back out of the mothballs?
.. The neighbors explain to visitors that this is the time of year when we get: "Summer by the day, Spring by the hour, and Winter in between."
.. Fishers looking to the Firehole River for Saturday's opener will note that the water temperature, (which had been hovering in the high 60's,) is now in the low 50's. The discharge rates are, however, a bit above seasonal average.
.. When you get to town check with one of the local fly shops for the very latest in weather and water conditions. They are easy to find, just follow the map below.

1. Blue Ribbon Flies
2. Madison River Outfitters
3. Bud Lilly's Fly Shop
4. Arrick's Fly Shop
5. Eagle's Fly Shop
6. Bob Jacklin's Fly Shop
7. West Yellowstone Fly shop
.. You can also check their fishing reports for the best current information by clicking on the links below:
==> Blue Ribbon Flies
==> Madison River Outfitters
==> Bud Lilly's Fly Shop
==> Arrick's Fly Shop
==> Eagle's Fly Shop
==> Bob Jacklin's Fly Shop
==> West Yellowstone Fly Shop
 .. These folks are fishing daily and know the neighborhood waters very well. If you are going to fish other than the west side rivers check the report at Parks' Fly Shop.
.. One thing we know for sure: Summer, Spring, and Winter will make their appearance during the next 72 hours. P.S. The Gibbon River Gage is working.

.

Are You Ready?

BRING A PONCHO

Bring Your "A" Game

bring it all

-------

.. Mom has a special greeting planned for opening day for fishing in Yellowstone National Park = special fly fishing weather.
.. There are all the bugs you need on the water. There are all the bugs you need in the water. There are all the bugs you need at every local feather emporium. Bring it all.
.. The early warm-up and salubrious weather has spent our snow pack and the rivers have run off - so to speak.
.. The Madison River is a bit off color and a bit below seasonal average discharge rates. It's going to yield some fish on the opener.
.. The Firehole River is just a smidgen above seasonal discharge average and will be the place to gather and swap ring tones. It's already hit 70° F this year and is running at about 65° F today. There's even ants and other terrestrials around in the meadows.
.. The Gibbon River is it's usual self and pretty as a picture. Discharge rates have already slowed down and the temperatures are in the catch some fish range = 56° - 60° F.
.. Nez Perce Creek has some bears. Read the regulations and the signs. Explain the rules to the bears.
.. Should you choose to ignore the local feather merchant wisdom you could find yourself alone and knee deep in eager fish on the Gallatin River.
.. If you need advice on the "right" fly or just exactly where to fish you should click on a link to the fly shop temple of your choice in the sidebar. They will provide you with the best conventional wisdom available.
.. Visitation is already on the upswing and gawker blocks are commonplace - sigh!

The Arrival Back Home

Leaving the White Mountains, I already miss the pine trees, the lake, the guys, but not the dust.
Aaron and I pack everything up after the killer breakfast, A bit overwhelmed it went quick. Stopping by the Indian casino to fill up on gas, we decide the windshield looks like shit and needs a bit of cleaning at the Spray and Wash in Pinetop AZ.

 The beginning of the drive was nice, warm but not hot, the pine trees  still in sight, old people driving like shit everywhere. knowing soon we would be out of the oasis, we seem to be in, and be back in the desert, we take it slow with little talk to enjoy what we do not see everyday.

  Before we know it the the land scape turns back to shit, and the heat starts to beat down on our sunburns. We are unable to drive fast enough to get home, without getting a speeding ticket. Traveling threw the Salt River Canyon slow RV's going way to slow, and dumbasses in motorcycles gearing up way too close. A quick stop in Globe to wash our hands and arms, or as I call it a "French Shower", to our suprise the restroom was clean. Yet the town and the people were still ugly and gross.

 The stretch home, nothing but dirt Cactus and a dead skunk. Seriously it was 100 miles of pure "God Took a Dump on this Place" scenery.

 We arrive at my house, I let Aaron get his shit out of my car and load his Jeep. I rush inside to see my Fiancee, smelling as if I was a dead otter. Aaron leaves and Jamie goes to work. I start the washing machine, load cloths smelling of mildew and some odd animal urine, But before it starts, I have to take off the cloths I am wearing.......  it was gross but when I remove the boxers I have been wearing for the last four days, the smell of Fromunda Cheese makes me a bit uneasy. So a quick rush to the shower. A total of fives days  in the dust and grime, the fish slime and food dripping from what I ate, and the sweat from success,  the water from the shower quickly runs down the drain with a sewage tint.

 I am now clean. My nose is red and hurts. I want to sleep. I have to be at work at 1A.M.

 I am going to bed

Kyle- Alex has the photos and is a much better writer than I, He will most likely put the Wrinkleneck 23 fill up here

Super not cool

How many of you watch Swamp People?
Well Alex started watching that show when we lived together and got me into it. As the seasons went on I got more and more hooked. Instantly I have my favorites on the show, Mitch and Glenn Guist. As a tragedy may happen Mitch had passed away.

RIP Mitch

"Swamp People" star Mitchell Guist died on the bayou.

shiny

Sometimes it pays to know the right people. Haha, I'm funny.

Can someone please pass the salt? Haha, I'm funny again.

I was driving down the street today and I passed a lifted Toyota with a big SIMMS sticker next to a G LOOMIS decal on the back glass. The girl driving it was at least an 8. I slowed down to take a better look.

She was way past cute. We pulled up to a red light and she must have felt my piercing stare because she looked over. I leaned out the window with my best smile.

"Do you fly fish?"

"What?" She asked, returning a smile that melted me a little.

"The stickers on your truck." I motioned behind her.

She turned to look where I was pointing at the rear window. The move pulled the shoulder belt tight across her chest and I couldn't help but smile a little bigger and be glad that the lenses of my sunglasses were adequately opaque.

"Oh, haha," she laughed and turned back in her seat. "No I don't fish, this is my husbands truck."

I can't be certain, but I am pretty sure she heard me mumble goddammit under my breath as I rolled the window up.


-Alex who just wants to say good job to the guy with the white lifted Toyota and if you have read this and don't want to punch me in the face lets go fishing. Bring your wife. Haha, I'm funny, again again.

White Stuff

...WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY IN EFFECT FROM 8 PM THIS EVENING TO NOON MDT SATURDAY FOR ELEVATIONS ABOVE 5500 FEET...
THE NATIONAL WEATHER SERVICE IN GREAT FALLS HAS ISSUED A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY FOR ELEVATIONS ABOVE 5500 FEET FOR SNOW...WHICH IS IN EFFECT FROM 8 PM THIS EVENING TO NOON MDT SATURDAY.
* TIMING AND MAIN IMPACT: RAIN WILL CHANGE TO SNOW FOR ELEVATIONS ABOVE 5500 FEET THIS EVENING. A LIGHT SNOWFALL IS THEN EXPECTED OVERNIGHT AND INTO SATURDAY MORNING.
* SNOW ACCUMULATIONS: TOTAL SNOW ACCUMULATIONS OF 2 TO 4 INCHES ARE EXPECTED FOR ELEVATIONS ABOVE 5500 FEET...WITH UP TO 6 INCHES POSSIBLE NEAR RIDGE TOPS.
* VISIBILITY: VISIBILITIES WILL BE REDUCED TO LESS THAN ONE MILE AT TIMES IN FALLING SNOW.
* ELEVATIONS: FOR ELEVATIONS ABOVE 5500 FEET.
* OTHER IMPACTS: THOSE RECREATING IN THE BACK COUNTRY SHOULD BE PREPARED FOR WINTER LIKE CONDITIONS TONIGHT. MOUNTAIN PASSES COULD BE SNOW OR SLUSH COVERED AT TIMES OVERNIGHT AND INTO SATURDAY MORNING.
* LOCATIONS AFFECTED INCLUDE: BATTLE RIDGE PASS...BOZEMAN PASS... TARGHEE PASS...WEST YELLOWSTONE...BIG HOLE PASS...CHIEF JOSEPH PASS...MONIDA PASS...BOULDER HILL...ELK PARK PASS...HOMESTAKE PASS AND RAYNOLDS PASS.
PRECAUTIONARY/PREPAREDNESS ACTIONS...
A WINTER WEATHER ADVISORY FOR SNOW MEANS THAT PERIODS OF SNOW WILL CAUSE PRIMARILY TRAVEL DIFFICULTIES. BE PREPARED FOR SNOW COVERED ROADS AND LIMITED VISIBILITIES...AND USE CAUTION WHILE DRIVING.
FOR SPECIFIC ROAD AND TRAVEL CONDITIONS IN MONTANA...DIAL 5 1 1.
&&

mouth

Take it. Eat it. Put it in your mouth.
Be mean to it, I won't mind. Jump around a little bit. Make it fun.
I wish you would have eaten it the first time. I wish you would have eaten the one that wiggled around on top so enticingly. But whatever.

You still swallowed it down, so thanks for that. Now go tell yer mama what I done, cause I'm gonna tell my friends about this and they are going to smile and laugh and throw high-fives.

We are going to talk about how fat you are, and how much of a fight you put up before finally succumbing to my irresistible pull. But don't be hard on yourself. And don't fret about your weight, we likes 'em chunky, baby. Keep packing on that thinkness, sweetheart. I will be back to check on you.

Now run home. Run home and go cry in your bed and understand that we are careless assholes, but not the worst of our kind. Understand that this will most likely happen again, and next time you might not be so lucky.

Next time, you may end up in someones freezer, or rotting away; stinky in a hot dumpster somewhere. Be weary, my little chubby green angel, there are demons lurking above you in that thinnest of vapor.

 See you again soon and best wishes,
-A

PS You probably shouldn't tell your boyfriend about our time together. I wouldn't want to have to put him in a frying pan with butter and shallots.